Tag Archives: AJ

2 months!

7 May

I never thought it would take me almost 2 months to get some time to blog again. It’s 4am and I’m up nursing but finally have a moment so please excuse me if my train of thought is not smooth but here’s the updates. Unfortunately, we’ve had somewhat of a rough start with our little guy but it looks like things are starting to iron themselves out. AJ is 2 months old today…and will go for his 2 month checkup and some shots later today (yikes!).

We’ve been to the doctor a lot. Sorting out AJ’s eating situation over the past 2 months has been very stressful for us as new Mamas. First we realized that he had some rash on his bottom and THOUGHT is was his diapers…only to find out it was a food allergy presenting itself. After some trial and error, we zeroed in on dairy and gluten. This shouldn’t be too much of a surprise as our donor has food sensitivities to both but I honestly never really thought we’d be dealing with it so early. I eliminated both allergens from my diet when he was about 3 weeks old, but unfortunately it takes 2-4 weeks for them to really get out of your system (and your breastmilk). The first time we went to the doctor, I was actually mortified at how fast they suggested I throw in the towel on breastfeeding and just switch him to formula. So sad. There needs to be so much better support for breastfeeding Mamas, especially in the medical environment…but I digress.

So while we waited for those allergens to clear, we had a VERY colicky baby for several weeks It was very hard. Sometimes he would just cry all day and for hours on end. Nothing could soothe him. He would eat and begin to thrash, then scream and we’d burp and burp and burp and try to get the gas out and he would just continue screaming until he got exhausted and passed out. We spent about 2 weeks that way. He’d only sleep in our arms and in a baby carrier or with one of us wearing him in a sling. Some people said we spoiled him, but our baby was hurting and we spent every waking hour trying to comfort him so that he didn’t have to be. We tried every gripe water, gas drop and homeopathic colic remedy that we could find…and we just waited for it to pass and eventually it did.

At about 5 weeks old, we all got a little relief and started resting a bit easier because of it. It was soon apparent that something was still very wrong though and we hadn’t completely cracked the code. Breastfeeding was going okay, but I suspected that we had something going on that was making it painful for me and difficult for him to get enough to eat. He had always had a very shallow latch since he was born, which I corrected constantly, but it wasn’t unmanageable. But then after the allergies corrected himself, AJ started trying to get more milk because it wasn’t bothering his stomach so much. I was parked on the couch nursing constantly. He couldn’t get enough and we were both sore and tired. It just wasn’t making sense that he couldn’t seem to be satisfied unless I pumped my milk and fed it to him in a bottle. When he could drink it that way (much faster and easier) from a bottle, he was happy, would get full and would sleep for a few hours. Again, I was told to just give up breastfeeding. I saw three lactation consultants and they all told me that something different was going on. We tried lots of things, but ultimately the last one said he had a tongue AND lip tie and it was clearly affecting his latch and both of our comfort. A tie just means that the small piece of flesh connecting your front lip and gums and under your tongue are connected further than they should be. They affect how the lip flips upward and how far the tongue can be stuck out. It seems insignificant but it’s huge for nursing. Also, we found out that his lip tie would likely have affected how his front teeth came in too. We had them both cut a week ago now and so nursing has started to get better too.

Everyone always asks how you are sleeping when you have a baby. Well, our answer has always been “not much”. After the first 2 weeks, AJ hasn’t slept for much more than 3 or 4 hours at a shot, and much of that was when we were holding him so it hasn’t always been very restful sleep for us. Now that the eating seems to have fallen into place, we are working on the sleeping and trying to get him to be able to sleep in his own bassinet and crib instead of just with us.

Having a new baby has definitely been the biggest adjustment of our lives and despite all the issues, we are so in love with him and thank our lucky stars everyday for bringing him to us. We just enjoy being a little family together so much! Developmentally, he’s doing great. He loves to look at lights and ceiling fans, and stare at high contrast items. He’s started to smile and laugh and reach for people and a few toys. He changes so frequently and so fast that every day we notice little changes. I have 3 more weeks of maternity leave left with him and then I start transitioning back to work part time. I can’t wait to see what he’s doing by the time we get to that point. I know I’m going to miss him like crazy and I don’t look forward to it AT ALL!

The home visit for our adoption is also taking place tonight. I’m a little nervous about how that will go. Letting a social worker into your home and life to ask questions and evaluate if you are fit to be legal parents to a baby that is already here feels quite intimidating, albeit necessary in our state. It sucks that we have to go through it but I’m glad it’s a fairly painless (although still expensive) process and hope we can put it all behind us soon. If all goes well, we should have a court date next month and the adoption will be final then soon after that. We’ll get a new birth certificate for AJ that will list us both as his Mother. Hooray!

My wife is just the sweetest thing with AJ. Seeing them together melts me. After many a trying day she comes home and takes him out of my arms and they are just so happy to see each other. He makes us feel so fulfilled and complete. Even on those days when I haven’t had time to wash my hair or finish shaving my legs, I look into those little eyes and tell him how very much his Mamas wanted him in our lives, how grateful we are and how much we love him.

The past weeks have been filled with so much love and it doesn’t show any sign of stopping. A constant stream of family and friends have and continue to come see him and fall in love with him. The months are already flying! I have so many pictures that I want to share too, but my iPad is being dumb about letting me do so at the moment and I want to go get some more shut eye. I’ll try to make a post in the next day or so that is nothing but a gratuitous baby show to make up for it and information about how the home visit went. I know a lot of others thinking about adopting are as curious about it as I currently am.

As always, thanks for keeping us with us and for the support.