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So it’s starting……

23 Apr

Up to now you have heard from my better half who will hopefully soon be very knocked up. We start trying in a few days! I am super excited but for both our sakes I want to keep an even keel. This could takes months and months to accomplish. My wife is so keyed up, I know she is going to be on a roller coaster ride for the next several months come what may. It’s my job to keep her feet on the ground and her expectations in reality.

This is going to be a fantastic journey. I will try to share the perspective of the non birth mother in all this. So far it’s been all about predicting her ovulation. She is doing a great job monitoring her temperature and tracking it on her iPhone app. She pretty much nailed it last month. This time will be more important to get right as we begin. We are going to try for 5 days, 3 before and 2 after her ovulation.

We are both a little squeamish about handling “the stuff”. So that should be interesting. I will be sure to let you all know how it goes!


Syringes, Lawyers and Lab Tests. OH MY!

22 Apr

Well, the last few days have certainly been busy. We’re in our final stages of preparing for our first insemination. Last weekend we had a hellacious storm, got water in our basement and spent most of our free time dealing with that. We did manage to get to the drug store and find our “turkey baster” tool so we were happy to have that out of the way. We’re pretty much just going to be using a plain old oral medication syringe. I also bought some instead softcups but I don’t know if we’ll actually use them or not. Figured that it couldn’t hurt. We do still have to go out and get containers for “the product” but that’s about all that’s left to do. I’ve read that they shouldn’t have been washed with any detergents as that can kill sperm so we’ll figure out how we’re going to do that some time this week.

Yesterday we also went to see our lawyer. Usually when I think of “lesbian” and “lawyer” I think of Jane Lynch as Joyce Wischnia on the L Word. Luckily, our lawyer is very UN-Joyce like and kind. She was genuinely excited for us. YAY!

Joyce is so boss. I’m kinda glad she’s not our lawyer though.

Our attorney has known us for over five years but is happy that we’re finally taking this journey. After explaining our plans and what we want, it looks like the first thing we’ll be working on is an agreement that says that our donor intends to relinquish parental right after a birth takes place (you legally can’t do it beforehand). Since we can’t really penalize him if he decides not to sign away rights, the agreement  also states that he would pay an ASTRONOMICAL amount of monthly child support should he refuse and decide to stay a legal guardian. Support owed to a child is really the only deterrent that we could enforce. So basically, we’ve made it so that there’s no way in hell he could afford to keep the kid. Our lawyer assured us that even though he could fight it, a court would be pretty likely to enforce it since it would be beneficial to the child. I kind of hate that we have to do it that way but we have to play devil’s advocate and hopefully this is a safety net that we’ll never deal with anyway. After that gets all signed next week we can move on to revising our wills and working on second parent adoption prep later on in a pregnancy. We left feeling pretty good! Although this adoption is going to cost us several thousand dollars, it’s pretty straightforward and our attorney is a BOSS at this stuff.

So, the only other thing left to do was to get our last round of medical screenings out of the way for our donor. I paid for the tests in advance and scheduled an appointment and went with him this morning. It only took about a half hour to get all of his samples taken and I should have the results emailed to me in a few days. We did all the same screenings about six months ago but we’re doing them twice just to be as safe as possible. Since we’re not using a sperm bank that will screen and clean his swimmers for us, we don’t mind the cost of being extra cautious. The tests cost about $250 each time and I use this service that let me pay for them out of pocket and find a nearby clinic online (or you can even do them by mail). Our donor doesn’t have medical insurance right now but if he did I’m sure there’s other ways to get these tests covered. I think Planned Parenthood might be an option too but I’m not sure. This just worked best for us.

While I was with him we talked about the terms of the upcoming agreement and how we plan to actually “make the trade” on our insemination days. He’s being really, really great about everything and both he and his boyfriend are excited for me to get pregnant. I can hardly believe that it’s only a few days away already. THAT IS CRAZY!!!

Lastly, if you know me, you know I LOVE Grey’s Anatomy and so here’s a humorous moment that I just had to share with my fellow fans…
Since we will be inseminating some on week days and some next weekend days, we’re discussing playing with the times of day a bit and just seeing how it goes. The donor’s boyfriend suggested that maybe after we try next Saturday morning we could all head over to the local farmers market, which is something we all love to do.  I said that I’d be lying on my back with my legs in the air for about a half hour but after that, sure we could go do whatever. He looked at me very matter-of-factly and sang “If I lay here….If I just lay here….We will wait half an hour until you’re knocked up.” I died laughing. Maybe it was totally cheeseball of him but I don’t care. Things were feeling far too serious at that moment and I love that they just get that and wanted to make me smile anyway.


It’s all about timing

14 Apr

Last night we went to our hair dresser. She’s been on this journey with us for a good year or so and she always makes it a point to ask us “So? Baby stuff?” I think she genuinely wants to know but maybe assumes we don’t want to talk about it. But, OF COURSE I want to talk about it. We outlined our progress since we had last seen her, which wasn’t much but I did mention that since I went off birth control that my periods have gotten worse each month that I’ve had them.

Then this morning, Mrs E. says to me “I don’t want this to get harder because we waited too long and your endo started interfering. Should we start trying sooner?” (I’ve always been ready to try YESTERDAY.) So, we talked about it and we really don’t know why we’re still waiting beyond that this is what we agreed to do. Basically there’s only a few things standing in our way:

-Last round of donor test
-Family Attorney meeting (scheduled for the 21st of this month)

We decided that it IS a good idea and that we’re going to for it. Possibly in two weeks. Ultimately, our decision is only a go if logistically we can get the law stuff that we need to have done worked out in time. CRAP! That is really, really awesome and really, really scary all at the same time. I’ve been walking on air all day.


11 Apr

We. Jumped. In.

This blog is a way for us to rant, be elated and generally share our journey on our way to becoming parents. At times, the going gets rough and we hope that our struggles can give insight to others as well as help us form our own support group and channels of awareness.

For right now, I’m at the stage of the game when we are tracking my fertility signals and I’m peeing on ovulation sticks. We have chosen a known donor and gone through most of the necessary testing. Next month he goes for a few final tests, just to be sure and we can start trying to inseminate at the end of next month.

The waiting is HARD. Oh my god, SO HARD! It feels like everyone surrounding us right now is pregnant. Wait, everyone around us right now IS pregnant!! We’ve spent about a year dealing with my endometriosis and trying to get my cycle under control and now we are in the final stretch. Some days I kind of want to rip my hair out.